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Dear Moms, Grandmoms, Daughters and Aunts,

 

     We've been thinking about moms, that powerful force that influences all cultures and comes full circle as we traverse the stages of life --first as a daughter, next mom, then grandmom and finally "daughter" again.  When we came across this appealing essay by local mom and grandmom, Paula Mahoney, we had to share it with you.

 

     Have a lovely Mother's Day with your families!

Parmalee                    

  Photo by Alisha + Brook Photographers

Happy Mother's Day!

How to be a Daughter
by Paula Mahoney


     Begin by staring up into that face, the face of your mother, believing that she is the sun, the source of light, and life itself. Believe that face exists only for you, and that person is there to serve your every whim, applying a balm for every wound. Keep this going for several years.


     As you grow, there will come a time when you begin to see yourself through the eyes of others, not just through your own, or through your mother's. At this stage, blame your mother for all of your life's flaws: the tattered cushions, the house that needs paint, your missing father, the works. Let her know how disappointed you are for the ways that she is failing you, point out her flaws. Use your words to push her back, back as far as you can get her. This is the only way to break free of seeing yourself as an extension of her.

 

     Do things that frighten her. Take drugs, have unprotected sex, fall in love with Mr. Wrong. Move away. Far away. Write her and tell her you miss her because you really do. You left before you were fully formed. You hadn't made the break yet. Ask her to visit. See her differently when she arrives. Notice that she's outgrown you. That she speaks her mind, wears what she wants, has become president of the employees union at work, goes out dancing and has men fighting over her. Envy her independence. Realize that she cautioned you before you left, tried to stop you. Realize you didn't listen.

 

     Have a couple of daughters of your own who look up into your face as if you were the sunrise itself. Fear for them, try to be everything they need. Fail at this, again and again. Feel bad about yourself, your shortcomings vs. their constant demands. Love them so much it hurts. Try again. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, the ones your mom loaned you.

 

     Become better friends with your mother once you see how impossible the job really is. Let your mother help with your kids, help you in every way. Admire her strength and independence and the light she holds within the family. Do this until her light begins to fade. And she depends on you. And she looks up into your face as if you were the only real source of light. Take care of her, feed, bathe, clothe her. Do this until she becomes your daughter, and the burden is too great, the job is too hard, and you fail her, even though you try so hard, day and night, and again the next day. And no matter what you do, you are not going to do enough.

 

     But maybe, just maybe, you'll get that one moment when she breaks through her own needs and fears, loses the resentment she feels towards her decline, and maybe she'll looks up at you, with the light coming out of that face that you've memorized, and says, "Oh, hi dear," as if you've just been born. So beautiful in her eyes, her lovely, perfect daughter. And be that, if you can, hold that thought, that moment, because soon you will have to be a daughter without a mother. You'll have to live on this earth without her. And at first, you won't know how.

 

     And now there will be others, daughters of daughters who will look up into your face, watching and needing and memorizing who you are, and learning from you how to be in the world. And you will put one foot in front of the other, knowing that you've blessed their lives with so much of yourself and that still, it won't be enough to keep them from their own pain, and that some day they, too, will feel inadequate in the face of so much need.

 

     And so it goes, learning to be a daughter by being a mother. And in your old age, becoming your daughter's child. Watching her face look down at you until that final dying of the light. And you leave your lovely daughter behind, to live on this earth without you. Your picture everywhere. Your voice always in her ear. Your daughters and granddaughters weeping at your funeral, wearing you on their skin, like a fragrance that lingers forever.


Paula Mahoney is a freelance documentary film and TV producer with a passion for writing. She has lived in Santa Cruz since 1955, where she raised her daughters and enjoys watching her granddaughters grow.

 

Events for Your Enjoyment!

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Details in Events Calendar

Sat, 5/9, 2pm, Bluegrass Music In The Redwoods, State Park Henry Cowell, Hear the joyful sounds of Bluegrass as can only be experienced in the Redwoods! You'll tap your feet, clap your hands and smile! Shoreline, based in Felton, commands a sense of happiness as they offer bluegrass greats and original, crisp and sweet songs of their own. Do not miss this band!

 

5/10, Tenth Annual Marina International Festival of the Winds Mother's Day Weekend, Glorya Jean Tate Park and Marina State Beach, Marina
• Kite Flying • Hang Gliding • Skim Boarding• Food and Vendor Booths • Live Entertainment • Giant Inflatable Air Park • Kite Making and Wind-Related Kids Crafts • Science and Technology Tent • A.J. Robinson Free Medical Screening •
Hang Gliding Competition Sat & Sun
Skim Boarding Competition Sat 11am-1pm
Make and Fly a Kite at a Kite Making Workshop

 

Sun, 5/10, PV Shelter Announces 25th Annual Mother's Day Run/Walk for Shelter This annual event, enjoyed by many families in Santa Cruz County as an invigorating warm up for a great Mother's Day, will start and end at Ramsay Park and provide a beautiful trek through Watsonville's recently developed slough trails.


Sun, 5/10 11am & 2pm, A Mother's Day Event!
Celebrate Mother's Day by honoring some of the incredible women who have lived in, worked in and fought for the Big Basin. Meet pioneer homemaker Alice Maddock; Josephine McCrackin, the "Savior of the Redwoods" and Harriet "Petey" Weaver, the first female Ranger. Stroll through the magnificent redwoods on this half-mile, one-hour guided walk.


Sun, 5/10 1-5pm, Celebrating Mothers A bilingual family program honoring mothers on Mother's Day. Benefit for Beach Flats Community Center featuring music by Zun Zun, corsages for moms, Latin American food, desserts, and beverages, and a bilingual/multicultural book fair. Sponsored by Beach Flats Community Center and Transition Santa Cruz. Donation. Event at Veteran's Hall downtown.

 

(BUILT IN) (Icons/Graphics) Bike_trailer.jpg22nd Annual Santa Cruz County Bike Week

Bike to Worship on the day that you worship @ your place of worship (a do-it-yourself event). For more information contact Batya, 419-6574.


Bike to Work is Every Day!  Ride your bike to work as many days as possible during Bike Week and save money, help the environment and get exercise! Sign up at here and be eligible to win prizes.


Tues, 5/12, Commuter Race, An afternoon commute-hour friendly competition between a motorist, cyclist, electric bike rider, tandem rider and other sustainable forms of transportation. Check your local media to see who can navigate through traffic and reach their destination first.


Weds, 5/13, Food Delivery Day, 9:00am-5:00pm, the Civic Center ABC Room (307 Church Street). Call and volunteer to spend 1-2 hours transporting food to feed 5,000 people for Bike to Work/School Day! Call Kelly: 212- 1987 or email: Kelly@pedalexpress.com.


Thurs, 5/14, Bike to School/Work Day, 6:30am-9:30am. FREE breakfast for cyclists at sites around Santa Cruz County as well as free massages by Cypress Health Institute and bike maintenance by local bike shops at most sites. Click here for a list of breakfast sites.


Sat, 5/16, Rail and Trail Day - Train and Bike Ride, 10:00am, Santa Cruz Train Depot Park, (119 Center St. two blocks down from the Wharf). Celebrate train and bike travel with a train ride from the Depot Park in Santa Cruz to Felton. Bring your bike on the train for a fun group ride back down to Santa Cruz along scenic Highway 9. Helmet required. Train tickets are $4 for children under 12 and $8 for adults.


Sun, 5/17, Kinetic Santa Cruz, 10:00am, San Lorenzo Park. Bring your human powered art vehicle to downtown Santa Cruz and celebrate creative community spirit and alternative transportation. For more information visit riverartsfestival.com.

 

(Site Photos) SukiWessling.jpgSuki's Blog: A Song Called Mean Mommy

The other morning I woke up with the realization that I'd been having a stress dream about laundry.

Is there really anything more pathetic to have a dream about? I mean, if I'm going to have stress dreams, I'd like to have, let's see, one about going to Iraq and getting everyone to get along, or one about my concern that my breakthrough research on the genetic causes of cancer might not work out. I'll even take a stress dream about taking the SATs all over again over a stress dream about laundry.

We can't choose our dreams. We can't choose our kids. >>>

 

(Icons/Graphics) Lemons.jpgAimee's Blog: How to Get Your Free Credit Report

When I first began looking for ways to improve my financial situation, I was overwhelmed by the apparent time and energy it would take to do so. So I was relieved to discover that there are some things you can do that only take minutes, and that can greatly improve your financial situation. >>>

 

Design the Family You Want with Lorraine Pursell, MA, BCET

Only $25 for full-day, transformational workshop!

Bring a friend for free.

(Site Photos) LorraineLowRes.jpgDon't wait -- create the rewarding family experience you want NOW!
-Re-establish what you really want for your family
-Create the relationships & communication you desire
-Get the family to share the load
-Make lasting changes

 

Presented by Lorraine Pursell, MA, BCET

Parenting coach and board certified educational therapist
Sunday, May 31, 9am - 5 pm (registration starts at 8:30am)
Vets Hall, 846 Front St., Santa Cruz.
Cost: $25.  Potluck lunch for parent fellowship
To register: email info@lorrainepursell.com or call 808-936-4370, LorrainePursell.com.

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School Corner

Open House

Tara Redwood

5/9, 11am-1pm

Silent Auction

Mt Hermon Playschool

5/9, 1pm

Homeschooling Parent

Support Group

Educational Resource Center

5/11, 7-9pm

Writing & Inspiration Software Workshop

Chartwell

5/13, 6-8pm

Spring Festival

Branciforte Middle

5/15, 5-7

Calendar for Details

 

 

Camps A-Z

 

 

Tyrolean Inn

for

Mother's Day

Take Mom out for a unique brunch buffet.

 

Blackstone Quiche with bacon, tomato, onion, topped with Hollandaise
Vegetarian Frittata with broccoli, mushrooms, celery, zucchini, herbs

and cheese
Kassler mit Grunkole  smoked pork loin

with mushrooms,

kale and onions in a light cheese sauce
French Toast
Scrambled Eggs
Bacon and Breakfast Brats
Fried Potatoes
German cold cuts & assorted cheeses
Spatzle, Red Cabbage and Saurkraut
Cold Chicken Salad
Waldorf Salad


Assorted rolls, pretzels & jams


Apple Strudel
Strawberries & Seasonal Fruit
Peach Torten

 

Patio seating is open.

 

The bounce house will be up for the kids. 

 

Call for Reservations

Tyrolean Inn

336.5188
9600 Hwy 9
Ben Lomond

 

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(Business Logos) AlishaBrook_Logo2.jpg

479.1001

 

 (Business Logos) JelliBeanz.jpg

Annual
Mommies Day Sale!
One Day Only
Sat, May 9


Fill a Bag with

RESALE CLOTHES

for $25.00!


Come in and

see all the savings!


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2555 Soquel Dr.
Santa Cruz

462.6700
jellibeanzonline

 

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BEST


Groceries

Cheese

Meat

Wine


Branciforte & Soquel

Santa Cruz

 

 

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RECEIVE FREE:

May's featured

main dish...
Lemon/Lime

Citrus Infused Grilled Chicken w/Cilantro Lime Butter

Great served over our Jasmine Rice for an easy and healthy dinner!

SEE OFFER

 

MAY MENU

Asparagus Chicken Divan
*
Catalina Pepper Steak
*
Chile Verde Pork Chops
*
Nonnie's Classic Italian Meatloaf
*
Lean Turkey and Bean Chili
*
Orange-Ginger Prawn Saute
*
Spring Fresh Vegetable Strata
*
Wine Glazed Turkey Breast Roast
*
Garlic-Lime Dijon Flank Steak
*
Santa Cruz Berry Cobbler

429.1390

 

 

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Parmalee, Desiree, Vanessa & Gosia

Suki, Aimee, Lorraine & Trudie

Drop us a line anytime.

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